Meditation Monday no. 2: Ready Now

[I'm] Ready Now.

"If you want to catch a little fish, you can stay in the shallow water. But if you want to catch the big fish, you've got to go deeper." (Lynch, 2007).

The above is a quote I read today and I liked it... It matches my beliefs as a painter, and I desire to connect deeper by adding more mindful moments and opportunities for meditation.

I laid on my back in the grass today.  I was having lower back pain and feeling fidgety as I attempted to sit upright at the start of my meditation. The sun felt so warm and saw good on my face even though the rays felt prickly.  Today was another beautiful sunny day.  Many thoughts and ideas passed through my mind like an active stream. Tangential on the surface, yet somehow they had a web of connection whether to association, through morphing image, or through color.  I also saw a lot of written words today.  I saw ANGER in big block letters and a small, mighty figure pushing it out of view.  I saw “Care” and “Don’t care” and imagined that my ‘uptight self’ was letting go of things that mean nothing in the larger scheme of life while my ‘whatever’ self was finding things that were worth caring for and holding onto.

After some time, and to my surprise, I imagined a person with a helmet and tinted face mask (much like fighter pilots wear) peer from behind and over me.  The helmet was white, the face shield tinted black, and black and white words were painted on the front.  What did it say?  I kept looking and asking.  Finally I saw, “You should already know.”  However, was that really what it said originally, or was that an internal response to my question of asking “what”?  I do not know for sure, but I took that with me as my meditation session ended.

My painting today began with those words at the top of my little square.  In green, I painted “You should already know”.  I played with some washes below as I thought about the saying, and realized “already know” stood out to me from the painted saying.  I decided to use earthy and grounding brown to highlight “already know”.  Thinking about it now, those color choices intrigue me.  The green I associate with the grass I laid upon, and the brown, the rich soil and base for the grass to grow.  Perhaps on the surface I am now sure I know, but my deeper self does truly know whatever it is I seek or need knowing.

As I finished up the brown words, I then observed another narrowing of the original words: I saw “Ready now”.  These I chose to paint in yellow as a highlight over the brown.  Is it reflective of my intention to be ready?  To accept whatever comes my way?  And why the yellow?  I love yellow.  It is a color I am drawn to… that I love to paint with.  Is the yellow here significant of personal choice or deeper meaning?  It is light—not as concentrated as the brown… easier to become overpowered by the earthy browns and greens.   There is so much to assume here, so I will accept it as a balance of personal choice along with a personal meaning: holding onto the things that I enjoy, that I like, and letting light and lightness be an aspect of those parts of my life.  Perhaps there are bigger fish for me to be fishing for, but I know I have no intentions of staying in the shallow end.

Thanks for listening.

Lynch, D. (2007) Catching the big fish: Meditation, 
          consciousness, and creativity.  New York: Jeremy P. 
          Tarcher/Penguin Group, Inc.